A Mom's Resume

Name: Mom, Mumma, Mummy, Amma, Ma but mostly Mumma, Mumma, Mumma (all the time).
Mobile: Xxx-Xxx-Xxxx
Not the best way to contact me. Sometimes unreachable, mostly on silent mode, forgotten under some living or non-living thing, and on days when I have it: battery fully drained. But I promise to return your call.
Email: momiam@andlovingit.com
My Skills
Communication: an expert communicator with the ability to effectively decode signals (hunger, sleep, mood etc), gestures, sounds (mostly screams), and actions. 
Planning: a master of the back-up plan, my planning skills cover all situations that involve: emotions (tantrums, meltdowns or an illness), finances (saving for the future) or physical factors (hairpulling, biting etc. mostly done in public and requires an instant escape plan). I always plan and prepare for the unexpected.
Multitasking: at an almost superfast pace and my own rhythm, I'd like to claim that I can have my cake and eat it (too) because no matter what the isssue of the day is, I can manage to retain my sanity and complete all tasks at hand. To give you an example, I am typing this resume as I put my son to sleep, dinner is cooking (might probably burn as there's no hope of him sleeping) and my mother is on what'sapp asking how my day is going. All tasks complete and (restaurant home delivery) on speed dial....
Negotiation: a tricky one this and I fear my son might become a lawyer with the state things are going. Although he still can't talk as much, his actions speak louder than (everything mostly) and his screams are helping me hone my negotiation skills to the 'T'. 
Organisation: organised and methodical are words that describe me best. I am impeccable at this because I have learnt the hard way. From meals to toys, to activities, everything has a list (sometimes a mental one) that is strictly adhered to. In case I am unavailable in an emergency, my back up (the daddy that is) will have no trouble finding and identifying what needs to be done.
Time management: everything runs on a schedule but unfortunately, I do face unexpected downtime on most days and this causes some hiccups. However, when this happens, I try to use my back up plan to get back on track with time.

Applications: I am familiar with all applications that make my life easier and have them safely installed on my phone and laptop (with a back up on my husband's phone..just in case). In regard to typing speed, I am confident that I am an expert and can type fast (inspite of distractions).

My Experience
Reviewing and selecting almost everything related to my son and choosing the best. This involved a combination of sourcing via the Internet, reviewing 100's of products and networking with other moms to select the best.
Establishing suitable incentives for good behaviour and several other activities that take place on a daily basis. I have successfully implemented a rewards and recognition program that seems to be working well.
Ensuring equality by attempting to teach my son that boys and girls though not the same are equal so discrimination will not be tolerated. Promoting diversity by allowing him to play with toys irrespective of color (pink or blue), or where they were manufactured.

There are several examples and I'd like to say it's more of 'teaching' involved. The most important one to highlight - helping my son learn to sleep . Endless sleepless nights that required patience, perseverence and the ability to keep trying different techniques until we found a win-win situation for all. We're on to the next and sorry to mention it here but..it's potty training.

Risk Analysis
My experience in risk analysis involved an extensive project that was conducted to examine and secure all household equipment with appropriate baby proofing materials. This also required regular reviews to ensure the equipment was suitable enough to prevent any possible risk to my very inquisitive toddler.

This by far has been the most difficult. Managing calendered schedules with a comprehensive report (sometimes mental) of food, sleep, travel, weight, and all other aspects of my son. I am an expert in reporting trends, feeding patterns, what works and doesn't and maintaining stock counts (i.e. diapers, creams etc.)

I manage the HR, Traning and Administration departments, providing regular inputs in instances that warrant critical thinking (mostly at the drop of a hat), change management (which happens every three months and requires a new plan of action drafted from scratch). 
In addition to the above, I have basic knowledge and some experience in several areas like fixing broken toys, dry cleaning any types of fabric (clothes or cushion covers, curtains etc.), tech support (most important when laptop, phone and internet connection come up with unknown errors and need to be fixed ASAP. 

Educational Qualification
On paper, a Bachelor's in English Literature but I have dabbled in quite a few additional subjects. To give you an idea:
Statistics: Oh! I've become an expert here in figuring out the probability and odds of when my son will do or attempt to do certain things like when he'll throw a toy, or get ready to bunjee jump from the sofa. I can even predict when he can (sorry to mention it here) but yes... poop (mostly five minutes after he has been washed and changed).

Economics: vital for managing the home and all that comes after having a baby, I have used my knowledge thus far to understand that a) all things for baby do NOT necessarily have to be new b) If I don't need something I can give it away (distribute, as we say) c) I can always produce my own goods if I have the basic resources.
Politics: I'm planning to do my PhD in Politics because it's becoming extremely difficult not to fall for my son's cute smile and give in to all his demands. Our everyday discussions sometimes fail because he's doing whatever he wants and I'm yelling (sometimes pleading) for him to do something else.
Nutrition: I know the names of all possible baby and toddler picky eater meal plans. Fruits, vegetables, health drinks, everything I need to know is at the tip of my fingers. I belong to various groups that claim to effectively tackle the picky eating phase and I'm still in the process of figuring out my own solution.
There are several more that we can discuss in person. I hope my resume gives you a 'snap shot' of my experience and I thank you for your time. I will be honored if you consider me for the position at your company. I assure to do my absolute best.

Note: So Mom's,  what are your thoughts on the 'mom resume'? Please do share your comments and I hope you enjoyed reading this.