Every mother has a story to share. A story that details triumphs and tribulations, success and failures. The many instances where they chose this over that, or something over something else. When the Internet didn't exist and Google (well forget Google), I have wondered how our mothers managed to do it all in an era where nothing came easy and choices never really existed.
While pregnant and after my son was born, I have often grilled my mother about her parenting choices. Did she struggle to raise two children? Was she able to juggle family and work? How did she know what to do in times of distress when Google and Facebook never existed? (and then more annoying questions like) Did she love my brother more than me? Did she regret leaving her job to raise us?
I'm sure, you have had numerous mother-daughter talks that have left you wanting answers to so many questions. Which brings me to my Interview with a Mom. I look at my son, a mere 18 months and I wonder if he will someday ask me the same questions. In fact, I am sure he will. So I brace myself and think of possible answers that I might want to give him. I want to be honest and tell him the truth, how challenging it was, those early days, the dilemma to choose! I stop and wonder how he'd react. Would he be upset? So I think of the many questions I have wanted to ask (or have asked) my mom and I come up with a huge list. I narrow down the important ones and I try to answer them as truthfully as I can.
1. What was the most difficult choice I have had to make as a mother? The ugly truth to this answer is my career. As much as I want to be handed a trophy for saying I did not even flinch for a second, it's not true. I never intended to be a stay-at-home mom but fate had other plans and I am ever so grateful because it gave me a different perspective and most importantly it allowed me to find my purpose and dream.
2. Was I bored to be a stay-at-home mom? No. I was never bored but I certainly was overwhelmed and isolated in the first few months. It took a lot of patience and sometimes impatience to get to where I am today. The isolation faded once I became more confident of everything I was doing and the choices I made.
3. What was my biggest fear? My constant fear has been about setting the stage for my son. Am I making the right choices for him to be a good person? to have a good life? Am I hovering too much when I really should be letting him explore and find his own way. I will never know that answer now and I can only hope that we're on the right track (wait for my update 18 years from now!)
4. How different was it to raise my son (compared to my mom raising me)? Well, a lot and this is where I remember my mom telling me that intuition and common sense played a big part in my upbringing. With my son it's been google this and google that. Everything is a step away, you chat, you post a question and you get answers. Sometimes common sense is all that's required to fix the situation and not any tech related thing. It's been a while now since I've ditched google and I've never felt better.
There are several more: my biggest parenting mistake, my happiest moment, my angriest moment. I've set my mind thinking of the many ways I will expain these moments to my son. I wonder dear Moms, have you ever thought of how you'd explain your parenting choices to your children? I do hope you'd like to share them and I hope this article gets you thinking.
Thank you for taking time to read my article.